Meyvaci Ali and the troublesome dervish

"D'you want some? I'll give it to you."

The Istanbul Chronicle and Ottoman Gazette

By our Balkan affairs correspondent D- W- Pasha.

Following the recent revelations about Vizier Silahdar Ali Pasha's latest Dancing Boy the radical Dervish Osman the Smyrniote inveighed against 'unrestrained licence and corruption in the senior ranks of the civil admininstration' during the Friday service in the Aya Sofia Mosque. His words struck a chord with the Janissary Orta of the Western Gate and a riot broke out during which the Dera and Beycoglu markets were sacked and set on fire.

The infuriated Vizier called in regular units of the army to suppress the riot and the perpetrators and the incendiary cleric fled. A despatch rider overtook the fleeing miscreants and alerted the local Albanian troops under Yüzbaşı Midhat Frasheri in the town of Kelcyre. His report to army commander McKenzie Pasha reads as follows:

I led my troops quietly into the village at first light intending to arrest the dervish and the janissaries but the miscreants were awakened by the row from some barking dogs as we crept through the farmyards. As is usual with the janissary there was a great deal of shouting and milling aimlessly about before the Kayha exited the house gesticulating for his laggard troops to follow.

Upon seeing this and realising that my hopes for a quiet arrest had been dashed I ordered my fellows to fire on him and two shots hit him, the first knocking him down and the second wounding him. There was a brief pause as the dissident janissaries observed their chief's fall but after a harangue by the rebellious dervish three of them burst out of the house.

My fellows, having reloaded while the internal discussion was in progress, fired again and two of the janissaries fell dead. As one fell his matchlock fired his open powder pouch and a small explosion ensued. This caused considerable consternation amongst the remaining miscreants and they fled incontinently led by their previously fire-eating dervish. Immediately, Nefers Abdyl and Fisnik commendably sprang up and gave chase followed by myself.

However, as we passed the houses a janissary lay in wait and shot at Abdyl who fell to the ground slightly grazed. As I passed the house I saw the janissary frantically trying to reload and shot him with my pistol, knocking him down. In the meantime Fisnik fired at the fleeing Osman and narrowly missed him but sending him staggering back. I ran towards the fleeing dervish just as the infuriated Abdyl charged into the house and set about the recumbent janissary with his musket butt.

The rest of my fellows charged into the houses to clear up any janissaries hiding within as we set off in pursuit of the dervish and a fleeing janissary.

Fisnik caught up with the dervish and despite the attentions of a nearby janissary was able to dispatch the unruly cleric while Abdyl fought and overpowered another.

I am able to report that none of my troops were seriously injured and particularly commend Nefers Abdyl and Fisnik for their courage and devotion to duty. I return Boluk-Bashi Meyvaci Ali (also known as Ali the Fruiterer) and two of his wretches for your disposal along with the head of Dervish Osman the Smyrniote.

Salutations Effendi
Yusbashi Frasheri
Kelcyre

Postscript.
Our reporter was able to interview McKenzie Pasha who was in an unusually expansive mood after a convivial lunch with the Muscovite Ambassador (who is apparently from the same village in Scotchland). As our previous interviews with McKenzie Pasha have produced short but succinct remarks such as "Imphm" or "Aye, weel. So 'at's the way o't?" our reporter was delighted to elicit a response where the Pasha stated that Dervish Osman was a "damned feel gype 'o a meenister", that Yusbashi Frasheri was "A likely loon" and that the Janissaries were "a set 'o ill-conditioned vratches in sair need o' a good skelpin'. At present we have No Idea what this means but the English Consulate has another Scotch from Dundee and we hope for his help in translation - the results of which should appear in tomorrow's edition.